Friday marked eleven years since my sweet daddy went to be with Jesus. The day itself unfolded quietly, so much so that I almost didn’t notice its significance. It wasn’t until the evening, when I glanced at the date, that I realized the anniversary had slipped by, nearly unacknowledged. Yet, as soon as the next day began, before I had even left my bed, my thoughts turned immediately to him. From the moment I opened my eyes, his memory was present, filling my heart and thoughts with the weight and warmth of his absence.

The Unpredictable Rhythm of Grief

Grief is unpredictable in nature. Some anniversaries hit like a wave before you even realize they are near. Others slip past gently, only to return gently, settling into your heart as softly as sunlight streaming through a window.

Loss doesn’t follow any schedule. It appears whenever it chooses, arriving on its own terms and in its own time, reminding you of its presence without warning

Questions of Eternity

I’ve been reflecting deeply on a question that has lingered in my thoughts all day: Do those in heaven think about us? Is it possible that they are aware of what unfolds here on earth—the joys, the struggles, and the everyday moments that shape our lives? I can’t claim to know with certainty. Yet it is difficult to accept that God, who knits us together in bonds of profound love, would completely sever those ties in eternity. That doesn’t align with the God I have come to know.

Perhaps in the presence of God, earthly matters fade completely from view. Not because those we love are forgotten, but because what stands before us is so much greater than anything we left behind. Maybe that is exactly as it should be.

Changes Over Time

So much has changed in eleven years. I often think of my mom and the weight she has carried, the moments she has faced without her partner beside her. I can’t help but wonder how differently everything might have felt if he were still here. His presence may not have changed the difficult circumstances, but perhaps the weight would have been easier to bear?

In his absence, we may have developed qualities that comfort alone could never have given us. Maybe we are stronger than we ever would have been, simply because we had to find a way forward without him. I can’t say for certain. What I do know is that grief, when carried together, changes us.

Grief quietly builds things within us that we never asked for. What it constructs, often without our permission, is a strength and resilience that we couldn’t have created by any other means.

Looking Forward

I still have so much living I want to do here. There are chapters of life I haven’t yet explored, and moments I’m not ready to release. My story isn’t finished; experiences are waiting for me, relationships to nurture, and joys yet to be discovered. Even as I cling to the present, I sense a quiet anticipation for what lies ahead.

Somewhere in the gentle hush of the day, I found myself turning my thoughts to the future. I imagined a time when the burdens and brokenness of this world are finally behind me. I look forward to walking streets of gold, to standing in the presence of my Savior, and to being reunited with those who have gone before me, especially my daddy. The promise of that reunion brings comfort and hope, reminding me that the journey continues beyond what I can see.

Finding Peace

Whatever you’re carrying today, whoever you’re missing, I hope you find moments of peace in the remembering. And I hope, like me, you hold onto the promise that this is not the end of the story.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” — Revelation 21:4