Are you striving to be the best: the best employee, the best parent, the best student, the best ______? You fill in the blank. We all have areas in our lives that we want to be the best. But is striving to be the best what we should want?
Go Big or Go Home
I used to strive for perfection in many aspects of my life. Typically, when I decided to do something new, I wanted to be the best at it. If I found that I wasn’t among the top performers, it wasn’t long before I would move on to another quest. If I couldn’t be among the best, I would get frustrated and angry. So, I’d stop “wasting my time.”
“Go big or go home” was my motto. Being good wasn’t enough for me. Being great was what I wanted.
Attitude of Perfection
This attitude of perfection has caused some hurt and disappointment along the way. Take health and fitness as an example. It has been my most recent struggle with perfectionism.
When I decided to get back in shape at 44 years old, my first goal was to start walking and improve my diet. Soon walking wasn’t enough, so I began to run. Still not enough. I felt the need to conquer a Jillian Michaels program. Maybe even do better than her.
After completing the “Ripped in 30” program, I still had more to prove. “Beachbody Insanity” was next. But I wasn’t the best yet. I needed to do more and more and more.
My desires changed from wanting to live a healthy lifestyle to being the strongest, leanest, fittest late-40s woman I knew.
It had become more about being the best instead of being my best.
It was never my desire for others not to be their best, necessarily. Yearning to be among the elite is what drove me. And I inflicted the worst damage to myself in the process of getting there.
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Broken Body
Yes, my obsession with having a great body, doing the most challenging workouts, and eating the healthiest foods led me to become a personal trainer. But I believe it also led to a broken body.
I wasn’t sleeping well, so I was tired all the time. I wouldn’t allow myself to eat foods that weren’t “good for me.” My hormones were a complete wreck. I became emotional and overwhelmed by small tasks. I pushed my body so hard for so long my recovery was suffering.
Because I had gotten used to feeling this way, I believe I missed some of the significant signs of the disease that thoroughly attacked my body in April 2020. I chalked all the symptoms up to overtraining and swept them away. I didn’t see the forest because of the trees.
Looking back at what I refer to as my “crash and burn,” it’s clear that I had been abusing my body and can now see the consequences it had on me physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The Best vs. Your Best
The desire to be among the best can be dangerous. Before taking off on a journey to reach the top, we should consider who could get hurt along the way. Will others be left behind in our rubble? Or maybe we will be the ones to suffer the most.
Being the best shouldn’t be the driving force of self-improvement. Instead, focus on being your best while being mindful of any damage you may be causing in the process.
Being your best isn’t about comparing yourself to others. You don’t have to look better than she does, be stronger than him, or smarter than everyone else.
The focus should be within. You’ll most likely have to chase away those inner voices who will tell you you’re not good enough. You’ll probably have to overcome self-doubts and fear. You may even have to remind yourself that your best isn’t always as good as someone else’s, and all of that’s okay.
Discovering how to conquer those hurdles is part of growth and will ultimately lead to success.
Your Best is Good Enough
It’s possible there will be things in your life that you’re among the best at doing but come to terms with the fact that you can’t be the best at everything. No one is perfect so strive to be your best instead.
Life is full of pressure to do better by becoming like this person or that person. There are ads and social media posts that set unrealistic expectations. They tell us we should be better than we are.
Do your best not to compare yourself to others. Instead, push yourself to your personal limits and become the best version of yourself possible.
Every individual is called to a purpose set aside just for them. Don’t lose sight of that by striving to fit into someone else’s purpose. You weren’t called to be them; you have your own journey to follow.
Until I came face-to-face with death, my best didn’t seem good enough. But I’ve learned that allowing myself to be me is a much more pleasant place to exist. There’s freedom there—freedom to be the person I was created to be.
Allow yourself to be your best instead of trying to be the best. That’s where you will find true happiness and fulfillment.
Finally Find Fulfillment
If you’re struggling to become your best instead of the best, I’m a Certified Life Coach with a focus on transformation. I’d love to help you discover how to break through the barriers that hold you back from true happiness and complete satisfaction.
Get a free strategy sessions to discover how we can work together to help you reach your goals.
Wonderfully said! I have found myself in the same position, Miss Lana. In fact, my mind still goes there and (out of habit) I still strive for things that are no longer possible or necessary. My weight is up a bit and I’m not working out 8 times a week, but inflammation has gone down, I’m enjoying meals with my family, and if something gets in the way of a workout I don’t STRESS TO OBSESSION. I’m BREATHING and accepting that I’m doing my best and achieving balance. XO
It’s freeing to come to the place of understanding being YOUR best is enough. I’m so glad you’re there. Balance is the perfect word for what we all need to reach for. You’re amazing and an inspiration!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.