When we stop to think about it, most of us can say life is typically very good. But occasionally, we face unexpected events that shake us to the core. And even though God tells us, “I will carry you,” we struggle to believe the pain will ever pass.
Saturday, as I sat next to my adult daughter in a sanctuary full of people, I couldn’t hold back my tears. I listened to a sister as she recalled her time growing up; I took in the words read from a piece of paper lying on the pulpit in front of a son and a daughter. My heart broke as I saw a husband slumped in the pew with his head on his son-in-law’s shoulder. I longed for the week to rewind, for circumstances to change.
Pictures of a woman I had met at church over 20 years ago when our children were toddlers scrolled across the screen in front of us. Her infectious smile filled the heavy room. I watched several other women I had met in that same church wipe their cheeks with tissues as the pastor spoke to the nearly 500 individuals who had put aside their morning plans to be present in this room. Then I recalled the moment I saw the social media post early the previous Monday, and I reached over to squeeze my daughter’s knee.
The flowers on the altar were beautiful. Even when I tried, I was too far away to smell their fragrance, yet I thought about this woman filled with grace helping others find their favorite scent to purchase from the perfume counter where she had stood so many times before. Now, a framed picture of her sat surrounded by floral arrangements given in her honor.
Time can’t be rewound; events can’t be undone. As painful as life can be, it must move on.
It can be so difficult to get past the darkness and find the light, but it’s there. God is always there, longing for us to give Him our burdens and let him carry us through the hard times.
I’ve been in the darkness, touched the edge of heaven, experienced the love of family and friends, and know what it’s like for God to carry me back into the light. Even still, I also know how hard it can be to quiet the inner voices of the flesh and focus solely on the comfort of our Savior’s voice.
I pray the darkness will turn to light soon for this precious family. I pray they listen and look intently for the Lord, allowing Him to carry them through these challenging times. I urge them to lean on each other and the many friends who came to show how much they care. I ache for the moment the sting will lessen in their hearts, knowing they can look forward to the day they will see her again.
Rest in peace, my beautiful sister in Christ. You’re home now, and we will see you again one day in paradise.
Your story is such an inspiration to so many. We will never know on this earth why God puts us through what He does but make no mistake, He has a plan and will never waiver from it. Your story shows others they have to dig deep, persevere and know they have the inner strength to move forward and fight any battle. How many are saying, “wow, look at her. I can get thru this”. I pray your story will continue to resonate with many. Author, motivational speaker and physical fitness guru could affect so many. We are so proud of you.
Thank you! Your support means the world to me.
That was a beautiful tribute. How so true, God carries us even before we know we need carrying because he knows the future. It’s also hard to allow him to carry us during the pain because the flesh tries to take over. It is a journey of learning to release our all to him when it should be so easy.
Isn’t it sweet when we look back and see all the times He carried us? Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Hi Lana,
I was deeply moved by your book! I am also a Dbl Lung transplant survivor but what you experienced is something beyond words! The strength and your faith is so prevalent throughout your entire journey. It made me cry and laugh many times but also provided comfort in God and all his great powers.
I actually had some goose bumps as we shared the same coordinator Sandra, Dr Reynolds and my favorite surgeon Dr Haney!! Dr Reynolds is a deeply kind, caring and knowledgeable Dr. He convinced me to have the transplant as I had just turned 70 and very concerned with my age. My other dear pulmonologist was Christine Barkauskas who is Dr Haneys wife. I was blessed with such amazing and gifted Drs that it made all my decisions easy.
If you ever have the time I would really enjoy chatting with you further. You are absolutely an inspiration to all!! Your book captures such Love and Hope beyond anyone’s comprehension. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for your kind words, Deb. I’m honored that you took the time to read my book. Praising the Lord for our amazing medical teams and the years they helped add to our lives. I would love to chat with you. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience. Breathe deeply!